Contract or Covenant Marriage

What is Marriage? Why does one enter into Marriage? What do we gain from being Married? Some of the sort of questions that have crossed my mind from time to time. In his talk "Covenant Marriage" by Elder Bruce C. Hafen he says "When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through.They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent."



He also says "Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other."

Elder Hafen teaches about three kinds of wolves that marriages are tested by. First is natural adversity what does that mean? In the dictionary it says adverse or unfavorable fortune or fate; a condition marked by misfortune, calamity, or distress. In my life up until  about six months into moving to Houston we have had child protective services on us because of our special needs son 7-8 times since he started kindergarten. But most of the accusations were shut down and cases were closed extremely quickly as basically people wasting CPS (Child Protective Services) time. These were Satan's attack on my own family. He is behind all kinds of adversity and is just seeking for people to join him and become like him miserable. Second wolf is our own imperfections, we all have our own flaws and we are the first to point them out and fixate on them before someone else does but when someone else does it sends out the door pretty quickly. My own imperfections is not being skinny like someone of the people I have in my life so I compare myself to them this includes my own sister. Ever since I  was about thirty years old my body changed its chemical makeup and I started to gain weight and found out I was having thyroid problems and because of neglect on a doctor's part I had to have my thyroid out after my second child and about two years before my last was born. I have struggled with my self esteem because of this and I have hope that I have found something that will help me. Yet this again one of Satan's tools to manipulate us into become like him. Third wolf is the excessive individualism that has spawned today's contractual attitudes. Egoism is another word to come to mind which means the habit of valuing everything only in reference to one's personal interest; selfishness. I personally think this wolf is something we all go through in one form or another. My first marriage I know I put off starting a family and am very grateful I did but some times wonder if this was my way of being selfish and only thinking about myself.

Doctrinal Ideal of Marriage is brought up in Elder David A. Bednar's talk "Marriage is Essential to the His Eternal Plan". Everybody is absolutely different including every female is different than the next female but Elder Bednar says there are doctrinal reasons to help us to understand why eternal marriage is essential the Father's Plan.

"The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation." He says "

The unique combination of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional capacities of both males and females were needed to implement the plan of happiness."

"The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other."

Another question comes to mind how does one fortify our homes and teach our children to fight the war on the adversary? Temple worship is key and how do we teach them about it. In President Ezra Taft Benson's talk "What I Hope You Would Teach Your Children about the Temple" he says
"When you attend the temple and perform the ordinances that pertain to the House of the Lord, certain blessings will come to you:
• You will receive the spirit of Elijah, which will turn your hearts to your spouse, to your children, and to your forebears.
• You will love your family with a deeper love than you have loved before.
• Your hearts will be turned to your fathers and theirs to you.
• You will be endowed with power from on high as the Lord has promised.
• You will receive the key of the knowledge of God. (See D&C 84:19.) You will learn how you can be like Him.
Even the power of godliness will be manifest to you. (See D&C 84:20.)
• You will be doing a great service to those who have passed to the other side of the veil in order that they might be “judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.” (D&C 138:34.)
Such are the blessings of the temple and the blessings of frequently attending the temple."

Before I get to much more long winded in this post. I am grateful for the temple and living so close to one. I have noticed on every occasion when we have gone to the temple as a couple my husband and I; I have been able to shut out the outside world and focus on my righteous desires for things and to get answers to my prayers. Just walking in the doors of the temple allows me to change focus on things more important that what to feed my family for dinner for a few hours. Being there I get to focus on the spirit and feel of our Savior and Heavenly Fathers love for me. He reminds me I am doing the best I know how and he is always there for me. I look forward to the day of taking my children to the temple again to do work for the dead and watch them receive their endowments and be sealed to their spouse. But I remember once we as a family were sealed together how different it is and how much stronger it felt to fight against Satan, but also how much more when we focus on becoming like our Savior and our Heavenly Father how they remind they are there for us and always will be we just need to knock at their door.